Sweet Heavenly Molasses: Christmas

Christmastime. Its defined by many as the most magical time of the year. I too believed in the magical power of this time of year - the time when its cold and the best place in the world is next to the fireplace, the time when people cared more about others than themselves, the time when things just seemed to go your way, the time when everything was just perfect! I was all set this year to go about Christmas this year with my family and in constant prayer for my deployed soldier. However, this year I suppose things'll go a little bit differently. Who am I trying to fool?! Things are going to be completely different. This is the first Christmas that I'll be "widowed" and the first Christmas where I'll have to sit among my entire family and know that the one person I love more than anything in this world will not call me - cannot call me, there is absolutely no chance. Christmas during a deployment is tough, but it's manageable. Even if he can't call on Christmas day, you might be able to hear from him the day before, the day after, a week or two after - but you always have that hope that he'll call, he'll email. The point is, even during a deployment, we, as military spouses, hold onto hope and that hope is what gets us through the darkest days. But what happens when all hope is gone, shattered like an ornament falling from the top of the tree?! Well, I suppose you get a Christmas and a Christmas spirit similar to mine.

Christmas will never, ever be the same. It will never have that same magic and every year I'll be reminded of what my life should have been like - my handsome husband, children, the huge tree, presents, breakfast Christmas morning, everything! Now of course, I can still have the tree and the decorations and the presents, but I'm never going to be able to wake up to Danny on Christmas morning, I'm never going to see our kids open presents Christmas morning.

This year, however, I did decorate this little place I call home. But for the record, for that lovely guardian angel I have watching over me, I only did this for you! If I had it my way, December 25, 2012 and all the other December 25ths in the future would be just another day - just another day with you! But I made a promise and I don't break promises! I promised him "to continue to live, even when your gone". Now, I made this promise thinking I'd struggle to live day to day without him by my side until this deployment was over, until we were married. This promise takes a whole new meaning today though. This one promise is the sole reason I get out of bed everyday and lets be honest, probably the reason I haven't attempted to take my own life (because between me and all of you, I've thought about it!).

So in honor and in loving memory of my guardian angel, Merry Christmas! This Christmas I ask all of you to take a few moments and remember all the fallen heros and those service members who are not able to be with their families for the holidays. Freedom isn't free and this Christmas we should all be thankful for those who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

Until Next Time - stay safe, stay strong, keep your head up and keep pressing on

-V-

Christmastime, like many other holidays and special times throughout the year, is extremely difficult with a loved one who is deployed. Whether that is a husband or wife, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a fiance, a brother, sister, mom, dad, it doesn't matter! It's the same pain, the same longing, the same desire for them to be home with you during this time! I think Christmas is the hardest for me just because I love it so much! I love the festivities, the parades, the parties, the decorations, the gift-giving, the food - literally, everything! even the smell! It absolutely kills my soul when he cannot be here and my heart breaks a little more when I think that he's going to be spending Christmas alone (well, not technically alone, but not with his family and friends and you know...me! lol) and in that stupid sandbox!

So...being the most amazing girlfriend in whole entire world, Christmas is being sent to Afghanistan! WooHoo! Cause if he can't come to me this year, I'm gonna make sure I get to him! Even if its just through a ridiculous cheesy, Christmas-tacular care package! And that's exactly what he got this year! (:

Included:

Christmas Tree
Decorations (because decorating the tree is the best part!)

red balls
green balls
gold tinsel
gold star

Candle

Battery operated of course! (No Lithium batteries though!)
In memory of his mama! (He always does a candle light for her and his friends who have passed on Christmas Eve. This way he has a way to do this all the way over there.)

Stocking (filled with candy!)
Snacks

Beef Jerky
Almonds
Granola
Hot Chocolate Packs
Candy Canes
TicTacs
Candy (it's winter now so chocolate is a-okayy!)

KitKat
M&Ms
Milky Way
Twix

Cards/Letters

From me and my lovely bestfriend! (:

I'm not sure how much is known about custom forms, but ever since Danny deployed the first time, I've always been told that in the box telling what to do with the box if it is lost or can't be delivered that you ask for it to be redirected to the chaplain. No big deal right?! Well, I go to the post office today and the clerk is checking everything..blah, blah, blah.. but then she goes: "Girl who told you to redirect it to the chaplain! You're so smart. Most people don't know that...blah blah blah". Literally, the lady went on for a good minute about it! It was definitely the highlight of my day! I may just be an army girlfriend or fiance - but I apparently know more about this lifestyle and the workings of the system than most others! And that puts a smile on this girl's face! (:

Pictures! Pictures!

Operation Merry Christmas