In Loving Memory (Easter Care Package)

A few months ago, I let it be known that I felt my duty to Danny and to honor his memory was to adopt a soldier - to continue his fight, to support the troops (the troops that do the exact same thing Danny did, in the exact same place Danny was) in the only way I can. Click here for a bit more details.

This was the first package I tried to get together to send. The emotional toil of this hit me a lot harder than I expected. I was buying stuff and decorating this box for someone who wasn't Danny - someone I didn't know and someone who wasn't my fiance. I know this is what Danny would've wanted. We've had lots of conversations about adopting military men and women once we got married and once we started to have kids. It would be this consistency in our hectic army life. We knew that if he stayed in the army, he would eventually be deployed and we hoped that by having always sent packages to someone, our children would find comfort in this. But, I guess that dream is long gone now.

Anyways, I've found trying to shop for a soldier you don't know is really difficult. Does he like this or that?! Would he prefer this or that?! Many questions flood your mind about what to get, etc. I did my best. I'm sure this soldier will appreciate it and I know Danny would be proud.

Until Next Time - stay safe, stay strong, keep your head up and keep pressing on

-V-

and now it's my turn

It has been a hard week to say the least. Between grieving, finals, and roommate drama, the fact I'm still alive and/or not in jail is nothing shy of a miracle. Seriously though. I'm usually not the type of person that wallows in self pity or allows emotions to completely overwhelm me. This week, however, I was completely consumed - with sadness, with anger, with frustration. I'm fortunate in the sense that I have many friends, both military and non, that are concerned with my overall well-being and have frequently checked in on me. It seems to be the general consensus that I'm allowed to feel this way, I'm entitled to have these emotions, and it's okay to have these feelings consume me in this moment of my life. But this isn't me. Without Danny here, I feel lost. I feel like I have no reason to live, no reason to finish school, no reason to go on.

However, throughout these conversations, I've also heard the line "you have to live for the both of you now" and "in everything you do, honor him, make him proud, don't let his sacrifice be wasted". And since I've practically lived in my bed this week, I've had lots of time to think about this, what this means, and what I can do. I've come to the conclusion that the best way to honor his memory is to continue his fight, his duty. But how do I do that?! I'm not a soldier. I do not have the passion it takes to even become a soldier. That was always his passion. Through my love for him and my love for this country, I have developed a passion for supporting our troops. During both of Danny's deployments and while he was "home", I loved sending morale to him, his best friends, and the rest of his troop. It was my thing.

So now, I'm an official volunteer doing whatever is needed to help military members stay strong and come back to their families. A lot of my friends have begun volunteering through Homefront Hugs and Soldiers' Angels, so I figured I'd give it a whirl. I've got to keep going and I've got to stay strong. Danny dedicated his whole life to this fight - now it's my turn!