Operation Graduation Celebration !! (:

GRADUATION DAY !! (:

The day is finally here. Today, I graduate from the University of Georgia. Today, I start my life as a UGA alumna. Today, the next chapter begins.

I stand before you all today, as a University of Georgia graduate and a completely different person than the one who walked into Brumby Hall in August 2009. I have transformed into someone who goes after what she wants instead of idly letting life happen to her. Tonight, I'll stand in Sanford Stadium along with my fellow peers with no regrets. The stress, the heartbreak, the struggles - these shaped my life and I'm a better person today because of them. My time at UGA has come to an end, but the memories I've made here will stay with my forever; the friends, the roommates, the exams, the parties, the sleep-deprivation - none is less important than the other.The last four years have been a testament to the strength I never knew I had and the courage and determination to follow through. I've learned that in order for big things to happen, you first have to endure all the crap life throws at you - and trust me, just when you think life has ran out of tricks, it throws one hell of a curve ball!

As I go into graduation, there is one very special young man who will not be joining me. This man is the reason I've finished school and the driving factor for making all my dreams come true. He was always that shoulder I needed to cry on, the ear I needed to listen to my problems, the voice I needed to calm me down, the hand I needed to hold and the push to accomplish great things. He promised me that he would be here tonight and it breaks my heart that he is physically unable to fulfill this promise. After all, he's the reason I'm graduating tonight. While all of you may not see him, I have no doubt that he will be standing right beside me.

"Baby, know you'll never be alone. I'll always be with you - forever and for always. This I promise you. Live your life, follow your dreams, and know that if you ever fall, I'll be right there to catch you. Don't sweat the small stuff and don't let fear own you. Live. Love. Take on the world. I'm right beside you. This isn't the end. This isn't good-bye. This is just another 'see you later' at the airport, just another 'I'll talk to you soon', just another 'I'll write when I can'"

-Victoria-

In Loving Memory (Easter Care Package)

A few months ago, I let it be known that I felt my duty to Danny and to honor his memory was to adopt a soldier - to continue his fight, to support the troops (the troops that do the exact same thing Danny did, in the exact same place Danny was) in the only way I can. Click here for a bit more details.

This was the first package I tried to get together to send. The emotional toil of this hit me a lot harder than I expected. I was buying stuff and decorating this box for someone who wasn't Danny - someone I didn't know and someone who wasn't my fiance. I know this is what Danny would've wanted. We've had lots of conversations about adopting military men and women once we got married and once we started to have kids. It would be this consistency in our hectic army life. We knew that if he stayed in the army, he would eventually be deployed and we hoped that by having always sent packages to someone, our children would find comfort in this. But, I guess that dream is long gone now.

Anyways, I've found trying to shop for a soldier you don't know is really difficult. Does he like this or that?! Would he prefer this or that?! Many questions flood your mind about what to get, etc. I did my best. I'm sure this soldier will appreciate it and I know Danny would be proud.

Until Next Time - stay safe, stay strong, keep your head up and keep pressing on

-V-

American Widow Project - I guess this is real life.

This past weekend started like any normal Saturday. I slept in. I laid around in my bed. I tried to forget that the past few months actually existed. My roommate and I laid around the apartment watching movies - to say it was a lazy Saturday would be an understatement. That is until I checked the mail. In the mailbox, I found a package from the American Widow Project. I had never heard of them before and was a bit skeptical of how they got my information. Danny was super private, as am I, and his service in general was, for the most part, under lock and key. He served this country with the humblest attitude I've ever witnessed. He never wanted recognition for his service nor wanted benefits that came from his service - not until we were in a place where we needed them. He never took military discounts or anything because he always said we didn't need those right now; he'd always say that we shouldn't take advantage of these options because one day we'll need them and they might not be there. He was so selfless. I think that's one of the things about him that made him such a great soldier.

This package contained a documentary of six young military widows much like myself. We're all in our early 20s, some married and some engaged, some with children and some without, but none-the-less we all have been given this title of a military widow. Their stories were so relatable and I found pieces of my stories in each of theirs. Danny and I wanted children - lots of children, but I guess it wasn't in the cards. He was my best friend and although we weren't married doesn't take away from the fact that he was the love of my life. I find myself irrational and frustrated and angry at everything. Its not that I'm actually angry, I'm just frustrated at the world for taking him away from me so soon and frustrated at the fact that my life isn't going to turn out the way I wanted; the way we wanted. I'm never going to be that carefree girl that was always happy. I may be happy again one day, but I'll never be as happy as I was or as happy as I could be. There's a sadness in my eyes that I cannot seem to shake.

The package also contained a "military widow" logo pin. This pin will always be with me. Without saying a word, it shouts my status as a military widow. I, like many others, never asked for this title of a military widow - yet its the label I've been given. Its a label I'd like to forget that explains a love too strong for Earth. A title that explains the heartache I've endured and the pain I'm continually faced with day in and day out. This pin shouts that I am proud of my fiance - his service, his sacrifice, his life. I never claim he was a perfect man, but he was perfect for me. This pin tells of my strength and of his heroism - without having to say a word. Which, for all though that know me, is something I'm grateful for. I love talking about him, about us, about his service even. However, once the conversation turns to the attack, I break!

I'm extremely grateful to the American Widow Project for their generous gift during this difficult time in my life. If you're interested, please go here for more information. From what I've gathered, there are many ways to get involved if you are, like me, a military widow. I'm not really sure all the different outlets you can get involved in, but when I find out, y'all will know. Also, if your not a military widow and would like to help other military widows, there are those options as well. Check them out! Please. Please. Please. This organization sounds amazing and I wonder why I'm just now learning about it.

Until Next Time - stay safe, stay strong, keep your head up and keep pressing on

-V-