NCLEX Prep ..Park Edition.

"For He shall give His angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways."

Psalms 91:11

In order to become a licensed registered nurse (RN), each nursing school graduate must pass the NCLEX (basically, nursing boards). The NCLEX has brought me and my nursing friends much anxiety over the past couple years, and much more since graduation in December. For the majority of my class, jobs have been applied for and accepted on the basis that this exam is passed. And for me, knowing that everything I've worked toward my whole life rests on this ONE exam is quite terrifying!! 

My test was originally scheduled for January 17th. I was a nervous wreck! I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I was nauseous. I vomited  …a lot. I had so many panic attacks that week, I literally thought I was going to die.

But.

Then God stepped in. Doesn't He always show up? 

The Friday before my test, I was looking up an address for my testing center so I could make my test drive. Turns out, I never received confirmation of my testing date and the date/time I thought I had scheduled wasn't saved!! At first, I was angry - it was something else that didn't go "right" in nursing school, another obstacle to overcome, and another thing to "fix". Once the anger faded and reason came into play, rescheduling wasn't an issue at all. 

My new testing date is February 4th - a whole two and a half weeks later. Praise God!!

Today, just one week before this test, nerves are beginning to sick in again. However, they are lessened by about 100%. I feel a smidge more confident and I don't feel rushed. I'm sure this will increase as the next week drags on, but whatever the outcome, I have faith I'll be taken care of and protected.

NCLEX prep, though, is serious business. 100-200 questions a day PLUS review material, my brain feels like mush. And the thought of sitting in my apartment studying all day for the third day in a row seems like a good motive to jump off the patio! So in order to preserve what little sanity I have left and save my precious little life, studying commenced at the park today. There's this super small place my grandma use to take me every week when I was little to do my homework before my violin lesson. I'm not sure why this place popped into my head, but it was there when I woke up - and after the events of today, I know God lead me exactly where I needed to be. I packed my bag, stopped for an early lunch, and headed on over. I found a picnic table that was slightly secluded and covered, but still had lots of sunshine! I pulled out my books and began my routine. After about two hours, a lady and her daughter passed by me. She noticed the ten million NCLEX-RN books spread out and began to talk to me. She told me of how she's an RN, her experience with the NCLEX, to hide good luck charms in my bra because they'll seize everything, and that I would do just fine. She talked to me about where I'd be working, where she works, and places to look into once my contract with Emory is over. 

Now, everyone and their mama has told me I'd do well on this test. But my problem with this is that they don't really know. For example, my mama has all the faith in the world in me and tells me all the time not to worry because I'm gonna pass. I love that she thinks that! I do, I do. But, she's doesn't really know if I can pass it, because she doesn't really know what's on the NCLEX, how it works, or the statistics of it. The same logic goes for my pops, my brother, best friends, etc. This lady though, she talked to me about how to fix problems I was having and things to look for in each question. She, after knowing all my problem areas and having real-life experience and not knowing me from Adam, believes that I'm gonna be okay. And that is comforting!

Everyone just believes I'm the smartest person and has the greatest of faith in me - and it's scary. I know that's a stupid thing to be scared of - too many people think I'm awesome and that's a problem! It is though. I care entirely too much what people think of me and if I don't pass this test, not only do I let myself down, but I disappoint everyone else too. My family has pinned all the hopes and dreams of a future on me and I don't want to fail them. Oh, the struggles of worrying about everyone else.

Prayers are greatly appreciated!

NCLEX Prep @ Grayson Park

Peace and Love,

V