Is it just me, or did the year just start yesterday? This is terribly insane and I'm embarrassed to say that I've accomplished diddly-squat over the past 31 days. Actually, that's not entirely true. While I haven't done as much as I promised or began some things I wanted, all my needs have been met.
At the first of the year, a very short and fast 31 days ago, I made seven goals for 2015 (post). At the close of each month, my plan is revisit these seven goals - give an update or lack thereof, give important and life changing details, etc.
Get close to God.
Since 2012, God and I have been on the rocks. I was so angry with God that I didn't want anything to do with Him or church or anything else really. In retrospect, it's funny that this was my mindset because He is legit the only one who could have and eventually did save me - from my grief, from my sorrow, and ultimately from myself. 2014 was a year like no other. I saw things and experienced things that changed my life and perspective. 2014 was the year I came crawling back to God. 2014 was the year I knew I needed Him. 2015, however, is the year I want to get to know Him. I was saved at a young age and I believe without one shadow of doubt that God saved my soul on March 30, 2003. No doubt - see ya in heaven! But in the almost thirteen years since that I night, I've never truly studied His word, learned His desires for my life, or took the time to just talk with Him. Shame on me! This man died for me and I can't even "check in" once a day! This year, I'm bound and determined to change that by reading the Bible each day and praying more. It doesn't seem like a lot, but A) we all have to start somewhere and B) it has actually been quite challenging.
This month, I've managed to pray more than I have in a long time. Could I pray more? Absolutely! But I'm happy with the progress I've made. I've also read each day - some days more than others, but the point is, I'm doing it! Effort leads to progress and perseverance leads to habits.
Be patient. Trust God and His timing. Put faith in His hands that things will work out.
This has been extremely more challenging that I had originally thought. I'm a huge control-freak, which isn't something that can just be shut off. I've found myself questioning and doubting God's presence in my life. I'm trying, and will continue to try, but I'm not sure I'm getting anywhere.
Daily acts of kindness. Forgive quickly.
Forgiveness is something I struggle with more than I like to admit. Blame it on my controlling nature if you must, but I can hold a grudge like no other. It's most definitely a problem. I'm gaining some ground, or at least I think I am. The next step will be not acting like I'm still mad, i.e. communication!
Acts of kindness are going well. This month, a majority of these went to my mama - driving her around, reading menus for her, helping her plan church activities, etc. We've grown a lot closer this month and I love it!
Live simply.
This is something I've striving to be. I make less trips to the store and more "bulk" shopping trips. Planning is something I'm still working on.
Stress less.
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Make healthier choices.
When I made this goal, I didn't intend for it to refer to clean eating or healthier food choices. While those are important, I definitely haven't reached any of those. This was about making better emotional decisions. Letting negative people out of my life. Not hanging onto people because I was lonely or felt I needed them. This was about living my life the way I wanted with the people I wanted in it - the people who make me smile and laugh continuously, the people who think about my feelings before making decisions, the people that include me.
So far, I've cut a lot of people out of my life. I let go of an ex-boyfriend ..and didn't go back. I went on a first date, and didn't call for a second. I'm more independent than I've felt in a long time. I feel more like me than I have since 2012. Let's all take a moment to praise God for that one!!
Write every day.
I honestly didn't think this would be a goal that I would struggle with, but it has proven to be that in my life. I write a lot. I doodle. I sing crazy lyrics no one will ever hear. I blog. I journal. But everyday? Not a chance. With the stress and time that has gone into NCLEX prep, writing has fallen to the wayside. I hope that once this terrible test is over, I'll have more time to dedicate to this goal.
Maybe even try out this NaNoWriMo thing this spring? Ey, we'll see. (:
There we have it - the trials and triumphs of January 2015. February will consist of the NCLEX, a big girl job, and lots of new adventures. Bring it!
Cheers y'all,
V
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