Dear God ...

I believe that prayers are meant to be personal - between you and God. But today, I feel as if my prayers just aren't getting through, my heart isn't being comforted and I'm not seeing that pretty light at the end anymore. I know God isn't meant to give us everything we want and that sometimes what we want doesn't line up with His plan and His will. I'm not really sure how much I'm allowed to say, probably not a lot, but I got a call today and basically there's been some activity with Danny's troop and he's currently suffering severe internal injuries. I don't know the extent of his injuries or anything else really. My whole world feels like its ending but at the same time, it feels like it isn't real. :'(

Dear God, 
I know we haven't been on the best terms lately. I've done some things I shouldn't have and I've said somethings I know I shouldn't have. I haven't behaved like I'm one of yours lately and for that I'm truly sorry. I know I should be doing better - striving to live my life for you. But if you could please let me keep him .. i don't even know. I know better than to bargain with you and my track record for keeping promises isn't great .. but please, please, please. Don't take him! I'm not ready! But God, if he's in pain - like pain no medicines can cure and no doctor can help - please let him know that I'm with him. Forever and for always! And You please be there with him and comfort him like I know You can. And please please please, if You do decide to take him before I can speak to him, please let him know that I love him - that I'll always love him and that I'm so sorry I'm not there to hold his hand through all this. And if You do decide to take him, please do it before the pain is too bad. I don't want him to suffer. He's a good man! The best that I know!
Amen.